Let me start out by telling you that I am becoming everything I don't ever want to be. All I do is work. And I work mostly second shift. And I never see my friends. It's my best friend's birthday. I saw him for twenty minutes. I work about fifty hours this week. And who knows how many I will work next week. I try not to bitch, cause I do it to myself. I could ask for less hours. I could quit one of my jobs. But I need the money. Not like, "I need the money to buy some cool shit" [but I will buy some cool shit], but more like "I owe two grand in rent, thirty six hundred in tuition, twenty five hundred on a personal loan, and have to some how save up enough to go back to school in the fall, and get a car and pay insurance...so I NEED the fucking money." So, I'm going to suck it up, work as much as I can, try to save as much as I can, try to see my friends when I can, try to be in two bands when I can, and maybe sleep. Maybe.
* * *
I just want you.
I just want you to know.
I just want you to know that I have never been a more perfect man.
I just want you to know that I have never been a more perfect man and that you have never been a more perfect woman.
But seriously, I have never put so much into something like this. Not even in my past relationships. Not with the girl I thought I'd marry. I feel like that is saying something. Not even that I'm in love, or anything close to it, but maybe that I've grown up. Grown into someone worth having? I haven't taken it lightly cause I feel like you're worth it. Worth the time, the money, the energy, the effort, the everything.
You don't want it? Or think you don't deserve it? Or think you can't commit? Or think you're moving on, out of here? Well what if you don't? What if you come here...like you want to? Still nothing I bet...
Forever doomed to be attracted to those not attracted to me. Or those who are unavailable. Or those I simply can't have. Or however you wanna put it.
FOREVER FUCKED.
I just want you to know.
I just want you to know that I have never been a more perfect man.
I just want you to know that I have never been a more perfect man and that you have never been a more perfect woman.
But seriously, I have never put so much into something like this. Not even in my past relationships. Not with the girl I thought I'd marry. I feel like that is saying something. Not even that I'm in love, or anything close to it, but maybe that I've grown up. Grown into someone worth having? I haven't taken it lightly cause I feel like you're worth it. Worth the time, the money, the energy, the effort, the everything.
You don't want it? Or think you don't deserve it? Or think you can't commit? Or think you're moving on, out of here? Well what if you don't? What if you come here...like you want to? Still nothing I bet...
Forever doomed to be attracted to those not attracted to me. Or those who are unavailable. Or those I simply can't have. Or however you wanna put it.
FOREVER FUCKED.
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